By definition as a leader you will be interacting with your team and the individuals that make up the team. There will be many interactions with your members both formal and informal. There will be team meetings, work sessions, social interactions, relaxed chatting and high pressure situations needing more direct telling. However one of the areas you need to be aware of and practice to grow your skills in is that of COUNSELING. Counseling is a very specialized area of communications, but has certain recognized princilpes to follow, that you need to remember and be able to use.
Many individuals will be seeking support, help and guidance at different stages of their career, or even within a task team. They will look for this from their leader - a leader is well placed and in fact has an obligation to provide this. Having some basic counseling skills allows a good leader to do this effectively. So what the the principles we would recommend you master:
1. LISTEN - easier said than done. Many of us hear but do not listen. To effectively listen one needs to ensure there are no distractions, a degree of privacy and that you actively concentrate on what is being said.
2. AVOID GIVING ADVICE - a trap all of us 'energised' leaders fall into - someone has an issue, we see the solution (as far as we're concerned and our reference base allows) so we rattle out the solution - short cut but not likely to be overly helpful to someone wrestling with an issue in their own unique context. THEY must arrive at the solution themselves.
3. SUMMARIZE THE PROBLEM - often playing back what you have heard by way of a summary of the problem you now understand they face is helpful in two areas - a) you ensure you have understood it correctly and b) they hear their own problem clearly summarized and this can sometimes trigger solutions for them.
4. GIVE NECESSARY INFORMATION - a useful tactic is to provide an array of information that can lead to choice of solutions. Sources of help, ideas to consider, past experiences and even books to read all help the person build a picture of the possibilities, choices and potential consequences of their decision.
5. ENCOURAGE THEM TO THINK OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES - this is a journey you need to lead them along i.e the ability to gather solutions and then make a decision, evaluating as they proceed and being ready to adapt their decision if they feel it was not the best choice (but of course avoiding the tendency to cop out if the going gets tough during the correct or best solution!).
Our intention in this newsletter is to raise awareness of the principles of counseling only and would remind our readers that good leaders would recognize the need for professional counseling and refer the person to trained counselors for dealing with personal issues and problems.
KEY TAKE OUTS:
- Be able to use counseling skills as a tool of leadership
- Understand what situations require trained counsellors - know your limitations
- Follow the key principles in steps 1-5
- Finding and choosing their own solution is essential for commitment and growth of the team member.